Born To Run

I’m gonna live my life, like I’m gonna die young

Like it’s never enough, like I’m born to run

– “I’m born to run”

Everyone is seeking differnt things in life - aka, what we live for: money, power, reputation, freedom, truth etc

My number one is Freedom. I want the freedom to learn whatever I want, to communicate with inspiring people all over the world, to build whatever I choose and share it with the world. I value people and environments where I can dream without limits.

I wanna live my life “limitless”

I desire freedom because I trust my own choices. I know I dive deeply into difficult concepts when I’m free to learn what I truly want. I believe I can create something meaningful when I explore freely. I believe I’m drawn to good, inspiring people when I connect with them openly.

Once, I had a conversation about regret. After careful thought, my answer was “No”. Sure, there were moments I wished I’d known it a little bit earlier (e.g I wish I knew the world more early) or times I made mistakes out of immaturity. But from a broader perspective, every moment in my life was decided by my own Free Will. I tried my best at every point. With the limited information I had at the time, I followed the choices that made sense to me, cutting off external judgments and minimizing the anxiety of risk-taking.

I ususally like to ask myself: “Is this really what you want?”, “Is the day truly meaningful to you?”, and “Are you sure you won’t regret doing—or not doing—this?”

I enjoy seeing life as a running that contains two important factors: direction and speed.

Generally, I run fast. I work hard and put all energy I can. And I really pushing myself to grow forward every day. Feels like drawing new color on paper. Occasionally, I stop to check my direction. If I notice my speed dropping or feel uncertain where I’m headed, I ask myself if this is truly a path I won’t regret heading. When in doubt, I slow down, take a deep breath, think carefully, imagine a far future, and dream big. Then I make a decision - whether I change or keep my direction - I start to run really hard just like it’s ok to die now while running. I’ll not regret it, even though I might not reach the big dream, because I really enjoyed every single moment of figuring out where to go and pushing myself to do my best.

Even if I realize later that my direction was wrong, I still grateful to have that experience. Without it, I wouldn’t have known that I needed to change course. All my memories and mistakes have shaped who I am now.

So I try to genuinely respect my free will, listen carefully to my feelings, sense whether I truly love the direction I’m headed, and give my all when I commit. Even if turns out not - still I have no regrets because I did my best and enjoyed the process. How many time I fall down, turn directions I’ll start running again, and that’s where I feel absolute freedom from direction and speed I decided to commit.

And to be fully honest, it’s SO DIFFICULT. You really need to put a lot of effort into having serious conversations with yourself, and you need to be patient to evaluate whether any of your thoughts or decisions are not just because of shallow emotions. Just trying to navigate myself in the right direction is really, really difficult; I have faced so many times where I just feel like I want to quit and choose whatever direction. I at least try my best until I have conviction in the move I decide to make — it might not be the best move — but as long as I think it makes sense and feel that I have made a reasonable effort, then I don’t regret the direction. I can freely run at my own speed with it.

It didn’t mean I am free. It’s more that what I live for is to gain true freedom — in that sense, I’m not free because I’m obsessed with it. Eren Yeager is called 自由の奴隷 (slave of freedom). But I wonder — does he regret any decision he had to make? No. Even if he could go back, would he make the same decisions? Yes. What he lived for was to gain freedom, and that was the meaning of his life. He tried his very best with the limited information he had at the time. As humans, if we are passionate about something, it’s natural to become obsessed (ideally at a healthy level). I believe that’s what makes life colorful and unique. And that’s what keeps us alive.