just a story about joy of learning

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I started programming at 20. I used a smartphone for the first time in my life and was amazed at how quickly it influenced me. I was astonished at how rapidly information is delivered and how big the impact unit is.

In my small world, I just had one goal and future: to go to a good university like every other kid in Korea.

By observing the power of technology, I became obsessed with the idea that ‘with this technology, I can make an impact on the bigger world. Not just in my house, not just in my school, not just in my country, but the world itself through a certain timespan of history’.

Then I became obsessed with learning how to make software and how to share this software with a broader group. I learned about business, and I’ve kept searching for ways to make a higher impact by continuing to try the best I can do in each step.

At some point, I felt like I got a superpower. I could easily turn the ideas I had into real, software format, and I could share and make an impact with a bigger group of people in my country. My view of software became much more detailed.

Then I realized there was a wall between me and the world, which was language. I couldn’t access information in English, and I couldn’t share my ideas or stories in English. I had been consuming information that was proxied by other people who translated English into Korean.

So I became obsessed with expanding my world by naturally using language as a tool. I jumped on a flight for the first time, forcing myself to set all environments to English – read/write/think/speak/listen, almost radically trying to forget I could speak Korean.

When I got to share my ideas more naturally, when I got to make close relationships with people, when I got to access pretty much all kinds of major information on the internet – and pretty much every single time I realize it even now – I feel so much freedom and joy from having this superpower. I’d like to call it “The joy from expansion of self through curiosity mixed with the craving for freedom”.

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The moment I realized everything can be enjoyable based on how curious you are about it, the world felt like magic. With computer science, I could imagine my CPU processing each input syscall through the keyboard while typing this blog, cycle by cycle. With physics, I could imagine how every single material is composed of a tiny combination of particles… from quarks. With biology, I could imagine how, when I feel stressed, norepinephrine particles are delivered and cause this…

During my existence, I could view my world and self in various directions with so much fundamental knowledge behind – what a lucky situation! – so learning is endless. It just doesn’t end.

When I meet a person from a totally different background, I’m learning about their world. How they view things, what their assumptions and perceptions are toward things, and what their natural reactions and preferences are. This explains many cultural realizations that have broadened my view of life.

In lots of cases, observations and experiences are stacking up. With these files of data, we can figure out patterns that we name as realizations. They can be true but may be denied by a later case. But in any way, we are stating some realizations – which are knowledge. We are stacking whole human beings’ knowledge throughout history and categorizing the dozens of pieces of knowledge that’s what we are learning.

I believe learning should be enjoyable. We are learning not to become successful or famous… we are learning to understand each other. Each other, including people and the whole universe. Just like the enjoyment of getting to know each other, there’s enjoyment in understanding the world, understanding technology, and understanding phenomena. The more we learn, the better we can understand what’s happening behind the scenes. This gives joy and also provides wisdom for making better decisions.

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So yes, I love learning.

I love to observe myself expanding. My understanding of the world is becoming more detailed over time.

Sometimes, to understand something that I am not familiar with, I might need some practice over time to get familiar with the supporting tools. But it’s okay; my motivation is heading toward what’s behind the wall.

I’m proud to have expanded my world, my small world with my family, my school, my neighborhood… to a broader world, humanity, human knowledge, and various countries.

I’m no longer learning by force – external input that stimulates inner cravings like gaining fame, earning power, getting money – I’m learning because I’m curious. I’m curious about computers and how this tiny machine could make this huge sophisticated modern world by delivering information across the world. I’m curious about physics, how our world got formed, and how my existence should be viewed. I’m curious about biology and philosophy, why I keep craving to learn about life, and where this motivation and emotions are coming from. Even though sometimes this external stimulation blurs me, I just keep holding my belief that learning should be an honest and genuine journey.

And I know to understand properly, it takes time. It takes lots of effort to solve the puzzle, dozens and dozens of times of practice to get familiar with the language – language in terms of high-level interface that represents abstraction. And the more fundamental truth we are craving, the more time it takes and the more challenging it is. But it’s powerful, like the beauty of math. Every phenomenon is explained in one single abstraction.

So yes, I’ll keep learning while not losing curiosity for the world. I’ll open and expand my world wider. Consciously listen to where my passion is heading, and enjoy the hard work toward freedom :)